fuckyeahtheCEBUlife!

You can't have evrything. Where would you put it?

Posts tagged poetry

3 notes &

UNTITLED No. XXX

I don’t miss you.
The day still smiles
From the sky.
The calendar has been
Flipped a hundred times
And the clock still wakes
Me up in the morning
And I’m okay.
Coffee talks to me
Like a friend I’ve known so
Long
And tells me
‘What could be any
Better than this?’.
The sheets don’t smell
Of you and the room
Clutters of soiled
Shirts, unread books,
Post-its and thoughts
That I couldn’t contain.
Some nights
The stars come out
And I know
Life is good.
I don’t miss you.
I miss us.

Filed under poetry poem love heartbreak lonely

2 notes &

LOVE LETTER No 1

Dear T

I miss you.

It pretty much sums up all that my heart is screaming about these days, wailing in the long lonely nights in bed while you post genuinely happy photos of yourself on facebook. It’s precisely the reason i cannot bring myself to telling you how much I miss you. You seem sunnier than we were together. And you’ve got someone else too. He will bring you the sun to light your days for sure. I brought you the moon and maybe a handful of stars but they’re no match to someone who brings the sun. I know because i’ve never seen that smile for quite a very long time.

Coming to terms with it all is the hardest I have been through yet. Life has thrown me so much but not quite anything like this. I will try to be at peace with the fact that you are happy, that you are doing the things that you like doing that you probably won’t be able to do if we’re together because i’ve sworn off partying and alcohol ages ago when you still want to go out, or how you love holding hands in public and I dont, or take and share photos of us together and i dont. I was not someone who displayed much of us and maybe you want someone who would. I preferred low-key. Not something to show off to the world because they are not what we were together for. I just wanted it silent and true, simple and cheesy when we’re together. Itbwas enough that we had a few circle of friends that we shared our story with.

God knows I have tried seeing others ( not so many) but I guess I was not ready. They were artsy and nice and offered to wait but i had told myself that i will not be in a relationship unless, first, you’ll find someone else before me or second, i’ll wait for a year from when we parted, whichever is longer. All along I knew dating was pointless.

Eight months hence, the first condition has been fulfilled. I have until the end of the year for the second one to lapse, and maybe i will be ready then. I would have said by then that 8 years was all there was for us and that im glad it was a good 8 years overall ( it would have been 9 years today).

For now, i will miss you til it hurts so bad. I will come out of it sooner. i know i will. And when the feeling dissipates, there won’t be any chance I’ll miss you again.

B

Filed under love letter love letter poetry sadness heartbreak

6 notes &

GHOSTS

Perhaps the ghosts were real.
The ghosts that have haunted
Me all these years.
The faceless shadows
Dancing around us to
The music we only could hear.
I used to cover my eyes
From the ghosts.
Too scared to confront them.
Feeling too small against the unnamed
Giants who could reduce me
To utter uselessness at even
The thought of their existence.
It was them that made me retreat
Into silence.
The words became scarce as
Their visits become more frequent.
I became immobile at your touch
Unsure if you were touching
The ghosts i dread or if it was I.
Maybe you couldn’t see them
Because they were all my making.
They exist in the mind but they
Were flesh and bones
Like the monsters i tried to
Tell you about
Except that my tongue failed each time.
But they must be real.
They are real.
I have let go of them.
Today they all came back.

Filed under poetry poem love